Healthy boundaries work in several directions: First, they keep you from taking onto yourself that which does not belong to you – other people’s crap, their judgments, criticisms, their agenda for you, the troubles and problems that are rightfully theirs and so on.
Second, healthy boundaries keep you from surrendering to others that which does rightfully belong to you – your power, your autonomy, your own choices, your agenda for yourself, your integrity, your ability to walk your own path and learn your own lessons and etc.
There is a third piece around boundaries – and that is that healthy boundaries allow IN those things others wish to give us that we DO deserve – love, affection, the gifts of generosity and kindness and etc. Healthy boundaries support and encourage these kinds of bonding exchanges that allow us to accept what others want to give to us because they love us and wish us well.
Boundaries are very difficult until our emotional body awakens and our attention and consciousness is fully present in the now. Only then do we begin to see the connections – the link – between cause and effect, and our behavior, our choices and our decision making becomes both accurate and wise.